I have written and re-written this message a thousand times over to no avail. I have shared countless words with you and yet they choose to evade me now so I have written you a letter.


Dearest Karen,


I don’t remember when we first became friends. In my mind we just always were. A wonderfully organic process which culminated in a simple “oh we have been friends since forever.” I catch myself being somewhat blasé about this process but in actuality to connect so instantaneously with another person is rare, yet you managed it with such enviable ease. And I am sure many of your much loved friends when faced with the question ‘how did you become friends?’ would reply in exactly the same manner of “we just did.” That is the brilliant splendour of you, your ability to forge a bond and the elegance utilised to keep it strong and lasting.


In my relatively short time here so far I have never come across another person so similar to myself both in circumstance and personality, sometimes it was eerily similar, yet I do you an injustice to arrogantly describe us as the same person. I can only aspire to become a person of your calibre. Being the quieter part of our duo I don’t particularly like talking all that much (good job hey). So yes I was quieter but you were stronger, more effervescent, more patient, open and daring. You were more confident, better with people, wiser and trusting. I like everybody who knew you will miss all these pieces of you. 


You were the best storyteller but you have left me with an plethora of memories and kindly well worn tales to follow in your footsteps with. I wish to somehow replicate the warmth, intellect and humour of your stories, to gain that remarkable gift of being able to make a person laugh so hard they cry. I have lost count the times I had tears streaming down my cheeks staining my work tunic, clutching my stomach so tightly because of something funny you had said. 


Hours upon hours we have spent together. We breathed, pulsed, our minds created and our souls ingested. All those hours well used, never wasted. We have cried and joked and laughed together. We have teased and recollected and vented together. We have shared and listened and supported together. We have confided and placed trust in one another, we have never however spoken an angry word to each other. When I spoke you actually listened. You were and still are my best friend. You were and still are that to many other people too. 


You lived enough for three lifetimes but I know your happiest parts, the parts which pale in comparison are your son coming into the world and the years spent with your husband Mark and your amazing family. I saw the longing, I held your hand and cried along with you through the darker parts of the journey but it was all worth it because it led you to Mark. He and Connor were you’re everything and I can only stand back and admire the love you poured into them and how happy they made you in return. To replicate your amazing example with my own son is a fervent ambition. That love spilled over into your family, numerous friends, work and colleagues. That love will be missed greatly, achingly so however it will never be diminished or forgotten. 


Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.


With love always,


Alice